dragonspride | Private Messaging Inbox (Ryslig)

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From:

blessedbymoonlight

His confused vocalizations nearly reached an uncomfortable pitch. Rosa frowned, feeling her ire cool further as Kain presented her with the alternative. No, she wouldn't have been happy with that choice, either.

He looked so helpless, slumped on the floor, like a kicked dog. For a brief moment, she felt a pang of regret, for reducing him to... this.

And then she remembered her last moments aboard the Lunar Whale, where her memories went fuzzy and indistinct before she awoke in the pit.

"If you truly needed me, as you say you do, then why didn't you speak out when Cecil tried to throw me off the ship? You spoke not a word in my defense, not a single word. You implicitly supported his decision to have Rydia and I stay behind, like dutiful soldier's wives so that you brave men could rush to your deaths like the idiots you are!"

In her anger, she had forgotten that Kain had been pulled prior to that point in time, but even so, it still hurt to think that he would actually agree with Cecil on something so inherently stupid.

From:

dragonspride

He did look up, with another faint flinch and a completely blank expression of shock; he had no memory of it -

Ship.

Something that happened after when the Fog God had taken him.

There wasn't anything he could say; he didn't even know what was going on, the entire idea sounded asinine, he wasn't sure where that would even come from or why he would've stayed quiet, but without it having happened yet for him, there was nothing he could say as to why or what was going on; he didn't want to think he would've agreed to something like that, even as broken as he must've been coming out of the Giant, but he wasn't sure how much faith he had in himself for that.

He shook his head, gave a weak, lost shrug and some thing that was almost an "I don't-"; then he gave up, burying his face in his hands.

From:

blessedbymoonlight

That defeated look, that utterly hopeless defeated look is what finally broke her and cooled her anger completely. Rosa stared down at him, stricken. She hadn't... meant to reduce him to this state. To see him avert his eyes from her in shame dredged up uncomfortable memories of those moments when the spell controlling his thoughts had broke, and he refused to look her way. Refused to allow himself to acknowledge her, for fear of hurting her in someway.

She drew a deep, shuddering breath. No, this wouldn't do. This wouldn't do, at all.

Slowly, Rosa drew herself up from her chair and walked carefully to Kain's side. She laid her hand atop his head, fingers burying themselves in his silken hair. "Don't..." Her breath hitched, and she started again. "Don't look away from me. Please."

From:

dragonspride

He flinched at the touch, briefly - but she was upset, and pulling away would make it worse, even if he couldn't bring himself to look up.

Her getting out before the Archfiends could've caught her alone and off-guard, even if he hadn't realized that was how dire the situation was, had been the one thing he'd thought he'd done right that entire time that hadn't involved just following behind being backup; he didn't know what had happened that he hadn't argued with sending them away, but he apparently hadn't.

The most response he managed was barely a mumble through his hands. "I deserve worse from you."

From:

blessedbymoonlight

"Kain, I—"

This was why she had always tried to curb her anger, to hide her frustrations behind a smile, no matter how much Cecil or Kain might test her patience. If she let the reins on those emotions slip... then this was the result. Lashing out at those who least deserved it.

And it was in moments like these that she hated herself for being a Dragoon's daughter. Because surely that rage must be born from the dragon's ferocity. And she had never been taught how to tame that part of herself because she had chosen the path of the healer, instead of the dragon. Her only recourse was to lock that part of herself away, never acknowledging its existence...

"No," she said softly, her fingers combing through in his hair. "You deserve better. I was needlessly cruel, and for that, I apologize."

Rosa sank to her knees, her fingers brushing against his hands, seeking to push them down. "Please, look at me, Kain."

From:

dragonspride

He only had so much energy right now for keeping covered, and after a moment of tension, he let her pull his hands away and looked up. It may not've been that comforting; he had his own bleeding weight that wasn't her doing that he'd kept better hidden - weeks on weeks of fighting to keep some corner of his mind that wasn't overtaken with every foul thing that'd ever crossed his mind, the guilt of everything he'd done while under that control - innocent deaths, Rosa, Cecil, everyone; the amount he'd had to throw himself into for distractions in the last ten months had made it easier to bury the parts that were broken down tired, even if he had pulled some threads back together.

"After everything I did..." Which apparently was under control or not. "I thought." He closed his eyes, almost swallowing the words. "...That you getting away from them there - had been the one thing I'd managed to do right."

He had wanted to protect her; it was a trap he'd known beforehand that even he wouldn't have gotten out of when it closed.

From:

blessedbymoonlight

That was... "You did. You did do the right thing." She smiled, more for his own reassurance, than to cover over the unsettled feelings she was trying to bury once more. "You saved me from the Archfiend and granted me the chance to aid Cecil in his hour of need. And for that, you have my deepest gratitude."

She held his hands in her own, heedless of his talons. The fact that he could tear the flesh from her bones with a single well-placed strike never once crossed her mind.

"My last memory, before I was brought to the place, was of Cecil..." she paused. "...telling me to stay out of the final battle. It's been like a thorn in my mind, digging deeper and deeper, and when you didn't gainsay him, I thought that maybe, all this time, you—" She shook her head. "What I mean to say is that I shouldn't have doubted your intentions from before."

She stared down at their linked hands, her thumb tracing a circle against the back of his palm. It was shameful, really, how cruel she had allowed herself to become, all because she couldn't keep her anger reigned in. "You have my deepest apologies."

From:

dragonspride

He shook his head quietly; it was an odd little war, between how angry she'd been and the litany of everything he had screwed up, and some kind of odd desperate warm puff from the first praise that somehow weighted as if it had to be the part that was true, why would it be anything else?

It was a strange sort of precarious, relieving balance and Kain wasn't sure if it was even how things were supposed to work.

"...How long was it - after the Giant?" He almost wanted to lean into the contact, bedraggled state and some nag of self-consciousness keeping him from it.

From:

blessedbymoonlight

"Not long. After the Giant was defeated and Golbez..." she paused. Should she really get into all of this right now? Maybe the abridged version, for the moment. "Golbez was also being controlled, just like you. By a Lunarian named Zemus. He's the source of all the chaos in our world. We were about to embark for the Moon when Cecil—" She closed her eyes and sighed heavily. "I know he means well, but just because the stakes are higher doesn't give him the right to tell me to stay behind."

Not only that, but his brother... his brother was choosing his own death. To die fighting the enemy of their world in a bid for redemption. And there was a small part of her that wondered, had events gone differently, if Kain would choose that path for himself. He willingly admitted that if he stood in their way that they should cut him down, and yet... he didn't seem to be actively seeking death the way Golbez was.

In any case, she doesn't want to dwell on such thoughts. And she squeezes Kain's hands, if only to remind herself that he won't choose that path. "Cecil was convinced that none of us would survive this battle. That's why he wanted Rydia and I to stay behind."

From:

dragonspride

Zemus.

Lord Zemus.

The Archfiends had talked about opening a path for Lord Zemus in the Giant, and even Golbez had referenced it; suddenly the odd behavior of the one parasite made some strange sort of sense.

The more immediate concern was Rosa. And Cecil. He was still feeling flattened and foggy, but Cecil deciding that it was a death run -

Goddamnit hadn't he just shaken GINKO about resigning to death in the pit?

He gave a very tired, frustrated rumble. "I remember how much of a wreck I was in the Giant before I was brought here." And with ten months and more time and reasons to have arguments against just accepting death... "I hope you're planning on hitting Cecil for giving up before we even began like that."

There may've been a lot of things his father did wrong, but Kain did feel like he should give thanks sometimes for how hard "Death is a potential risk, not an acceptable outcome" had been driven home.

From:

blessedbymoonlight

She couldn't help but smile at the frustrated rumble. Cecil had a way of digging his heels into Kain's side, intentionally or not, even when he wasn't present. And she was relieved to see some expression other than abject debasement on Kain's face. "I don't think he was giving up entirely, but... he weighed the risks and didn't think my life was worth the gamble. That chivalrous nature of his can be rather trying at times."

Well, only if you were a woman and the focus of that sort of attention.

"We'll both smack some sense into that fool head of his once we see him again." She squeezed Kain's hands once more. It was too soon to give up hope on the possibility of escape. "No matter how long we stay here, I will defy the will of the gods with every fiber of my being. As long as we stand together, we can forge our own path."

Her eyes burned, not with anger, but with unwavering determination. It was the sort of haughty look she threw at Golbez whenever he deigned to visit her prison cell, her arms bound and chained, but those chains could never bind her heart. No matter what sort of angry rant he spewed about destroying Cecil, he could never break her faith in the Paladin. And she refused to bow before their captors, even now. Not even the gods themselves would make her lose faith in herself... or Kain.

"Promise me that from now on, we'll fight side by side. As equals. As proud members of the dragon clan. Promise me that you won't bow to our captors, and that you'll fight them at every turn. And... should your resolve waver, and if you begin to lose hope," her fingers threaded between his talons in a gentle grip, "promise that you'll lean on me and accept my support." Her eyes sought his and held his gaze, steady and imploring. "Please."

From:

dragonspride

He might've been better than the moment of leaking self-loathing, but he was not entirely out of having about the energy behind anything of a beaten rug; the frustration at Cecil was still worn and tired. He'd hoped, with everything Cecil'd managed while he was controlled, that Cecil might've outgrown NEEDING Kain smacking him upside the head occasionally when he'd become a Paladin.

Apparently not.

He was being fairly careful to keep his hands still, mostly because he was more aware of those claws.

On another day, he might've argued that he was fine, and had been fine for the last near-year; contrary spite and anger worked pretty well when anything more conventionally positive flagged.

Right now, he was a little too tired and aware of his own worn-through holes, so even if there was an uncomfortable shift, he nodded; admitting there might be holes to someone felt like making them more solid. "...You have my word." He looked up, still feeling flattened. "I did end up involved, not long after I arrived, but only on the edges of it - and from their actions it's a place I could easily walk away from."

Lying to Rosa about that, particularly now, seemed like a good way to get her ready to strangle him.

From:

blessedbymoonlight

A Dragoon's word is his bond, her father once said. I would sooner break myself thank break a promise once sworn. And if there was one thing that Kain held in high esteem, it was his honor among the Dragoons. She could trust his oath.

Her relief was evident, even in the face of that admission. "So long as you don't swear any oaths to them, you can remain relatively free of their influence, right?"

The pacts between an Eidolon and their summoner was something at the forefront of her mind, but this world was very different, and these entities were not human, save one. And he was no longer human, and probably hadn't been for quite sometime.

"How," she asked, "did you end up getting involved?" It was hard to keep the look of mild concern from her voice. "And you're certain you can walk away from it so easily?"

She wasn't likely to strangle him, even if he did try to subtly shift topics. Lashing out at Kain and taking her frustrations against Cecil out on him had been yet another lesson in keeping her emotions concealed. She would make a concerted effort to keep her temper under control for a good while, at least.

From:

dragonspride

He nodded. "I know that I can walk away because the Fog God still makes attempts to convince me to ally with her, and because the Fourth God tries to get a stronger commitment." If it were something unchangeable, then the Fog God would've just been treating him as a target, and the Fourth God would've been more confident in it.

How he'd gotten there was something that, in retrospect, he knew had been not an entirely well thought out idea. "The first I'd known there was another god was after I'd arrived - before any changes had happened. The Fog God had left out bait, but there were signs the local humans didn't see - to fight it. The messages and what was there were... more allowing of choice, and didn't seem completely unreasonable to what I was used to." It was the one time being used to interacting with gods had probably worked a little against him. "I learned more of what was going on later; there are reasons I've kept my foot in that door."

One of them was selfish and the other was a calculated risk on what he was fairly sure was more sound information than usual with his calculated risks, but there were reasons.

From:

blessedbymoonlight

So, he was teetering between the two gods that were actively trying to annihilate one another. It made sense, really. As far as she could tell, the natives tended toward the Day or Night Gods, while the monsters appeared more involved with the Fog God and Fourth God. There was still so much she didn't understand, and she planned on spending time studying the lore surrounding the deities, but right now there was a more pressing question she needed answered.

"That's a dangerous game you're playing, Kain." A small crease of worry appeared between her brows. "As vindictive as these deities are, pretending to bend the knee for someone you have no intention of serving loyally will come back to bite you later on."

And Kain was the sort to break his loyalties before his honor. He'd turned from their liege lord (impostor or no) when he was asked to follow through with one too many unconscionable acts. And while Rosa supported that choice based on her own moral ground, it was still a precarious board they were on, and playing the game poorly could result in their deaths.

She fixed him with a knowing look. "I just hope your reasons are worth the risk, that's all."

From:

dragonspride

He rested his forehead on the side of one of his hands, habit already having adapted to minding the claws. "That's why I haven't been bothering to hide that it's a matter of situation and necessity, not of loyalty - and avoiding more than enough tie to keep watch." The Fourth God was tied to the network; he might have things he avoided discussing on the network that he WOULDN'T want seen, but pretending to play along any more than he actually was... he'd learned better than.

And it was something he couldn't really expect her to follow without more of an understanding of what was going on. "The Fourth God began as a human child - his father was a scientist in this city. The man's disappeared since, but has gotten some short messages on the network around the Fourth God's ability to read it. They did something he now regrets; the boy came into half of the Fog God's power. They cannot strike at each other directly, and they both have limitations while it's split."

From:

blessedbymoonlight

She settled herself into a more comfortable position on the floor, legs folded beneath her, and smoothed out the hem of her skirt (something scavenged from Seth's closet, no less). "You mentioned that before, on the... network. The Fog and Fourth Gods are fighting to consolidate their split power. And we're merely pawns on their board." She frowned. "They can't force us to fight, but they can coerce us to choose sides, offering tempting incentives, no doubt."

A deal with an Archfiend, to be sure. Whatever they offered, Rosa seriously doubted it was worth the risk in participating in the gods' war.

"So, let me ask you this," she said, keeping her tone even. "What are the boons they offered you in exchange for service?" She could guess it included the obvious: wealth, power, influence. But maybe... even more tempting offers. The chance to return to human form. Or even... to return home. But she wanted confirmation for her suspicions, and she wanted to hear it from Kain's own mouth.

From:

dragonspride

He let out a slow breath with a nod. "At the time, resistance to the Fog God's influence."

And it was something where he didn't want to admit out loud that he was a little afraid of giving it up, particularly after noting that yes, it was easier to fight things off when she did attempt to interfere with them. "Anymore, the main reason I'm hesitant to break ties is from one of Doctor Lliewen's few desperate messages - to try to keep them busy, but not allow either one to win, until a solution could be found."

Focusing on something direct and practical was a fast way to pull back his nerves, even if it was sometimes something that amounted to stepping away from his own problems in favor of other concerns. "They've gone for just about anything people would want 'if you help me win'. To have the power of a god yourself, to return to human, to return home. And...that the other would destroy our homes if they won. Doctor Lliewen said that they did not lie."

And if both were making the same promises with the same warnings of the other causing devastation...

From:

blessedbymoonlight

Rosa put a hand to her lips, trying to stifle the small exhalation of breath. "Oh, Kain..." Her expression softened. Of course. He would make a deal with an Archfiend if it meant keeping some omnipotent puppet-master's strings out of his brain. She couldn't really fault him for that, could she? "And you can keep this boon without swearing any oaths? It won't do you any good to gain protection from the Fog God's influence if the Fourth God forces your hand, anyway."

So far, she really couldn't see much different between the two gods. It would be easier to pick a side if one was obviously "good" and the other "evil", but as far as she could tell, their morality was infuriatingly grey.

Remaining neutral while "keeping his foot in the door" with the Fourth God. Could he really maintain that precarious stance?

Rosa thought that she could easily resist whatever temptations were offered. What use had she for wealth or power? She could even endure staying here and becoming a monster, so long as she had a purpose to fulfill and Kain by her side to support her. But that last part...

Destroy their homes?

She could feel her resolve waver in that instant, as though she were standing at the edge of a precipice. Cecil wasn't here. He was home, with the others. Fighting to protect their world from Zemus' machinations. And it would all prove futile if these gods made good on their word...

"Cecil..." Her voice broke against his name, like a blade upon stone. "No..."

Now it was Rosa's turn to put her face in her hands, shoulders hunched in a defeated posture. The one thing she wanted to protect most in this world... and they would take that from her? Bad enough that Cecil was fighting without her magic to aid him, but this?

It was too much. Too much to bear.

From:

dragonspride

Kain gave a small, uncomfortable worried rumble, and shifted to put a wing around her.

"Neither of them could even attempt it unless one of them wins - and neither of them can win without us fighting for them." Shared power, and more than enough reason for them to be so desperate to offer rewards. "So we have time to find a way to stop them that doesn't allow either of them that victory."

As pessimistic as he could be, they could keep these beings from threatening their homes. "The protection is a commonality; he couldn't very well expect us to stop the Fog God from killing him if she could gain sway too easily. They're better made off the network, but there are already plans to coordinate to ensure neither side wins."

From:

blessedbymoonlight

Her shoulders trembled with the effort of holding back her sobs. Cecil... He would always prove to be her greatest weakness, the one chink in her armor that could be used to strike at her heart. The wing which unfurls around her is warm and familiar, and she can't help but think of Skieran's sheltering wings. How often had she sought the old dragon's solace when the burden of soldiering on in the face of adversity grew too much to bear?

Instinctively, she leaned into the source of the warmth, and her shoulder bumped against Kain's. She drew a shuddering breath and lowered her hands, having gained some mastery over her emotions, but it was easy to see the tears shining against her eyes, threatening to spill over.

"Time..." she said softly. "So, there's still time to make a stand?" Her green eyes fix upon him. "What sort of plans are being made?"

From:

dragonspride

He nodded, with a faint smile, something closer to his normal confidence. "Oh, there's plenty of time. Right now most of those who have taken a side are in agreement; we ensure that our side doesn't die, but do nothing to aid them in actual victory. There are a number of us better suited to such that are searching for ways to stop both of them without allowing one of them the chance to claim full power."

Kain already knows he's not intelligence to not count himself among that number, even if he is doing what he can to know what's going on around him. "This is part of why I make such a point of being there whenever there are new people brought here - to make sure as many as possible know what they've been pulled into."

He was overly blunt and it was a little uneven sometimes - and Rota had been a little bit of a disaster with the fog not coming out for once - but he was doing what he could, and even if people sometimes were more freaked out by the warnings, the were getting them well early enough to wear that out and adjust.

From:

blessedbymoonlight

And his smile helped to bolster her resolve. She brushed at her eyes with her fingertips, banishing the last of her tears. "A battle of attrition, then, but without any actual killing... Simply choose a side and hold the lines until some sort of solution can be found..."

It was the best they could do, for now. Short of slaying the gods themselves, but that was probably beyond the scope of their abilities. Besides, it would have to be a coordinated effort so that both gods fell at the same time. Otherwise, all that power would be consolidated into a single entity, and then they would be well and truly screwed.

"All this time, you've been trying to protect our world, even though you've been trapped here... like this." Finally, she found the strength to smile once more. "And you've played your part well in our world, too. I can't thank you enough for all that you've done for us."

For their world, for everyone else, and... for her.

From:

dragonspride

He had an odd, awkward pause with a very faint trill, and another moment as if something had pushed his mood better that even he hadn't quite anticipated. "Those of us that are involved are following some advice of Doctor Lliewen's - that if all of us refused, they would start turning to other means, but we could essentially keep them occupied this way long enough for anything we might need to do."

At some point it would wear off some and he'd still be stuck weighing her words against everything he'd done that had made things worse, but for now, it was hard not to just focus on the praise.

"Their sense of time is about as skewed as anything immortal, as well - sometimes months pass without them doing anything." The hand gesture that accompanied that was lighter than earlier; even if the gods were far from the only things that went wrong around here, them not being in a huge hurry by mortal standards was a blessing.

From:

blessedbymoonlight

The trill sounded suspiciously similar to the noise Skieran would make when he was scratched under the chin. Kain certainly seemed rather pleased with himself... and his mood had taken a slight uptick. She smiled, glad that her encouraging words had some effect on him, at least.

"It really is like the Feymarch, in a way," she said. "And the gods are similar to the Eidolons themselves..." Just because she's agreeing with you doesn't mean she's given up her theory! "I suppose we should be grateful for those periods of respite."

Even without the gods meddling, though, it might not really mean the world was at peace. The monsters would still exist, and they would still need to feed, but...

But it was this particular moment of solace that she wanted to enjoy, however brief it may be. They were both struggling to regain some sense of equilibrium. Without really thinking about it, she leaned her head against his scarred shoulder. "In moments like these, you remind me of Skieran," she said, "and for some reason, I feel comforted by that."