Private Messaging Inbox (Ryslig)

[dragonspride]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, BARONSDRAGON. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 081.38.173.20 *** BARONSDRAGON has joined 081.38.173.20 <BaronsDragon> this probably isn't that secure <BaronsDragon> but at least it's not completely public to everyone

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<BeautyofBaron>

[blessedbymoonlight]

>>BEAUTYOFBARON has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. If you wish to listen type LISTEN01.

Kain. We need to talk. Now.

[ She's using the Voice of God on you, Kain, you'd better not make her wait. :| ]

(AND, BACK AT THE HOUSE)

[dragonspride]

It's not real much longer after the message that Kain is landing outside the house. If there is any effort at not slinking, he's failing soundly; his wings are folded in, all his spines flattened, tail barely above the ground, and he really is slinking towards the house.

And he's not actually sure if he prefers the idea of the conversation about to happen going on outside, or trying to get to the hopefully-not-in-use parlor or something for it.

[blessedbymoonlight]

A few things had started to click together in Rosa's mind while she waited for Kain to arrive. First off, the scars on his shoulder. Those definitely didn't look like they had been caused by caustic acid or even enchanted blades. No, they looked like bite marks, and Rosa had offered enough medical assistance over the years that she was quite acquainted with the myriad scars that Kain had sustained on his missions. That particular one, though, was totally unfamiliar to her.

The second thing was something he said earlier: I know better than to pretend I might bow even if it is just to survive until I can get in a better position.

There was something hidden in those words, subtle, but there. Had he only pretended loyalty to Golbez and the Archfiends while under the influence of the spell? Or something else?

Whatever it was, she was going to pull at that thread until the whole thing unraveled, one way or another.

As soon as she heard his wingbeats and the thud of his landing, she made her way downstairs, her features schooled into a perfectly serene espression. If not for the fire burning in her eyes, she might look as through she were simply waiting on a caller to pay a visit.

It's okay. She'll wait. She can wait all day, Kain.

[dragonspride]

Kain wasn't of much mind to wait; even if he was slinking in like he expected to go to his own funeral, it was something he knew it was probably better to get over with.

He pulled his tail inside to let the front door shut behind him; he was suddenly all the more self-conscious of the scars Cagnazzo had left, even if he knew better than to flinch in a way that would draw more attention to it.

"We should probably talk in the parlor."

Which, it looked like, was unused and empty, and ...well, he could only hope there wouldn't be too much overheard.

[blessedbymoonlight]

It's a bit odd, seeing Kain practically cringing in her presence, especially given his current form, but she's honestly too angry right now to truly appreciate the position he's in.

"That sounds like a lovely idea," Rosa said, keeping her tone pleasant. One would think that they were going to sit down and have tea together. "In case some omnipotent being tries to eavesdrop on our conversation, or some such nonsense. No, it's better not to hash out old grievances in the public sphere, don't you agree?"

She made her way into the parlor, but something about her gait and the way her arms were folded primly against her waist implied the soft stalking of coeurl feet. Even as she settled into one of the old, out-dated arm chairs, her expression remained one of perfect serenity. But she was watching Kain with the intensity of a predator seeking out a weakpoint to exploit.

[dragonspride]

If it were possible for his scales and spines to flatten any closer or for him to shrink in any more, he would, and while he followed at a fairly reasonable distance behind - not too close, but enough to catch the door behind her - with his gaze pretty much anywhere but directly at her.

The wings and tail made the armchairs something of an impossibility, but in this situation, somehow, settling with his talons folded out of the way under him and his tail curled around him on the ground across from her didn't seem like it was all that off.

[blessedbymoonlight]

It was almost comical, the way Kain crouched upon the floor, tail curling about his body in the manner of a cat. Or maybe a lapdog seeking attention at its master's feet. But this was no laughing matter. Not to Rosa, in any case. And probably not to Kain, either, given his submissive posture.

She stared at him, unblinking, hands folded primly in her lap. After several tense moments of silence passed, her gaze slid toward his scars. The corner of her mouth quirked upward in the barest hint of a grin. "Care to explain how you acquired that particular battle scar? I don't recall having tended to a wound like that. In fact, if I had tended to it, you probably wouldn't bear that scar, would you?"

[dragonspride]

So she had put together that it wasn't something he'd gotten here. It was probably only a matter of time, with the way his scales and plates had grown around and over it, rather than being impacted by it.

The quiet rusted hinge noise was a little higher-pitched and thinner than usual, and didn't quite want to leave no matter how much he would've liked it to go away. "...After I'd contacted you about what happened in Mist Village, I went into the castle to warn my second to clear the Dragoons out. I ran into the 'King' in the back hallways. I tried to talk past with a not-entirely-false story that there was something wrong, and ... I told him that he should take cover at the old lake manor." The manor that'd burned down when they were small children, that had never been much used.

"He said he wasn't going to hide somewhere. I thought it had to be little more than some human imposter using an illusion of some sort, and tried to strike."

Archfiends from old stories hadn't even been near his list of possible things he was dealing with at the time.

[blessedbymoonlight]

If Rosa hadn't spent so much time around Skieran, she might not have picked up on the emotional ques in Kain's draconic vocalizations. As it was, she could clearly understand the undercurrent of fear in his voice, fear of having displeased her somehow.

"Did you suspect that our liege lord was an impostor before that point?" she asked, and the smile on her face wavered. "Did you send me to follow Cecil because you knew that I was in danger, but you refused to tell me?"

It would certainly explain the quiet urgency in which Kain had spoken to her before, and his emphasis on the fact that Cecil "might be in terrible danger". Kain knew her too well, knew that she would protect Cecil to the exclusion of all else if she thought his life was in danger. He'd used Cecil as bait in order to draw her away, so that he could deal with his suspicions without her getting in the way.

That lack of trust again... It hurt. But she wasn't going to show it.

[dragonspride]

"...I didn't know." The waver hurt more than her being angry, and was enough for his posture to sink further, his eyes firmly on the carpet in front of him. "I didn't think someone could've replaced him without one of us knowing, but I didn't want to believe he would've grown so twisted as to order us to kill children. I - thought that I would have time to do a better explanation once I'd caught up, if Cecil weren't there to do it himself." And he had erred on the side of short and direct.

"I was afraid they'd have moved to trap you if you weren't out as soon as possible, and -" He shifted, folding his wings a little closer. "I truly hadn't been trying to confront the King - but I couldn't leave my men to be used in my absence. I knew we couldn't face all of Baron by ourselves; Cecil and I had planned to get you with us, away from the castle, then go to the other nations for aid."

[blessedbymoonlight]

"You could have talked to me," she said, her words sharp and silken all at once. "We grew up together, Kain. We've shared so many secrets with one another. And you didn't think that something like this was worthy of my attention? Did you think I didn't have my own doubts?"

It had been a subtle suspicion, but it was there, nonetheless. The way the king, once so frail, had suddenly regained his vitality, yet none of the white mages had administered any new treatments, nor could they discern how he had managed to recover in such a short span of time. Everyone had been ecstatic, had called it a miracle. But Rosa had felt a sense of unease about the whole thing, but she couldn't say why.

She listened as Kain continued to plead his case, her eyes as hard and gleaming as two emeralds. And there it was again, that chivalrous nature, that wanting to protect her, like some glass figurine. Boxed up and locked away, too fragile to be left in the open, lest the slightest tap shatter her into a thousand pieces. She couldn't help but hear Cecil's words echo in her ears: Go. Get off the ship.

So, Kain had felt the same way, all this time? "Why do you and Cecil always doubt my strengths? I'm a dragoon's daughter, you know this! The blood that runs through your veins is the same as mine, isn't it? I thought you of all people would understand that!"

She turned her head sharply to one side, her bangs framing her face, concealing the turmoil of emotions within her eyes. Her teeth were on her lower lip, threatening to bite through to keep herself from screaming.

[dragonspride]

Kain flinched, one wing almost shifting to duck behind it.

"I had - meant to, just - there wasn't time for much - if I hadn't run into him trying to skulk past to my men, and if it hadn't been a bloody Archfiend, I would've caught up to you before you even reached the border to tell you everything."

She wasn't as much of a direct combatant as they were, but he knew she was capable of handling herself. "I wanted to warn you because - I wouldn't have expected to handle that myself if they'd been determined enough to stop us from leaving."

He was the Lord Captain of the Dragoons, but he was one man, and could only do so much against an army, particularly when they had the rest of the Black and White mage corp capable of making sure he didn't get very far.

[blessedbymoonlight]

She chewed her lip so hard it threatened to bleed. He was trying to protect his men, his fellow Dragoons. But he didn't want her to fight by his side? "You didn't think that maybe I would want to protect them, too? They admired my father, almost as much as yours... Just because I chose the path of a healer over the Dragoon's path, that doesn't mean I wasn't invested in their well-being..."

Those young recruits were like brothers-in-arms. Though she never spent as much time in the Dragoon's quarters as Kain did, it was still like a second home to her. Those were her people, just as much as they were Kain's. Why should she be so excluded, just because she was a white mage? Was it because she was a woman? There had never been female Dragoons, not in her lifetime, and not in her father's lifetime, or her grandfather's...

Slowly, her gaze settled on him once more. Her lips were pressed together in a thin line. "Just what were you thinking, Kain? What did you hope to accomplish, standing alone against the king, Archfiend or no? Did you really think you could stand a chance against all of Baron's army? Surely you had some sort of plan of action, didn't you?"

Pretend to bend his knee to the impostor king in exchange for amnesty? Or something else?

[dragonspride]

He was still fighting the instinct to just hide behind his wing; there was a minute where all he managed was a couple helpless hand gestures and a recurrence of the thin rusted-hinge noise. When he did speak, there were more unhappy hand gestures going along with it.

"I had - I hadn't meant to confront the king at all. I was going to get you out, then - go through the back hallways, the ones that are empty at strange hours of night; give them some short order to get them out before anyone in the castle could react. I was going to get a high perch long enough to make sure everyone was clear, then meet up with you and them both to explain fully." He looked up at her helplessly; he hadn't been trying to treat her as any more helpless than any of his men.

"I'd been the one who told Cecil we'd need help from elsewhere, that we couldn't confront him like that. I didn't ..." He sighed, and there was a bloom of thin, translucent pale smoke. "I didn't expect him to be out in the halls like that. Looking back on it, Barbariccia might've caught on too late to stop you from leaving and warned him."

[blessedbymoonlight]

"Then why did you lie about your intentions? Why set my focus on Cecil, when you know how I feel about him?" Her breath hitched, and once again she found herself breaking eye contact. She stared at a sizable stain on the tablecloth.

Cecil...

"You said he might be dead. You knew I would leave right away. You were counting on that, weren't you? To keep me out of the way. To keep me safe."

If she had stayed... could she have saved Kain from his wretched fate? Could she and the others have made a stand, even against an Archfiend? Probably not, in all reality. But that didn't make her any less angry about the subterfuge.

"It doesn't matter," she said, and the steel in her voice seemed to lose its cutting edge. "What's done is done, and there's no changing the past." Her tone softened further, and when next she looked at Kain, the fire in her eyes had dimmed as well, replaced with something like disappointment. "I don't want you to just keep me out of the way anymore, Kain. I know you're concerned for my safety, but..." She shook her head. "You can't even begin to understand how frustrating it is, to want to fight and constantly being told to stay behind..."

[dragonspride]

The rusted noise hit a point of almost grating, and he shook his head. "I wasn't - I knew you'd leave right away but - I didn't know if he was dead or alive myself, what was I supposed to say? Would you have wanted me to tell you the King was setting a trap as we spoke and left the part about Cecil for three hours out on the road after I'd gone for my men?"

His wings drooped helplessly, his shoulders slumping as he dropped his gaze back to the floor. "I wasn't trying to keep you out of the way. I went for you first because we'd need you."

All of the list of reasons he had for her to be disappointed and angry with him, and the one she'd found wasn't even one he'd thought of before.

[blessedbymoonlight]

His confused vocalizations nearly reached an uncomfortable pitch. Rosa frowned, feeling her ire cool further as Kain presented her with the alternative. No, she wouldn't have been happy with that choice, either.

He looked so helpless, slumped on the floor, like a kicked dog. For a brief moment, she felt a pang of regret, for reducing him to... this.

And then she remembered her last moments aboard the Lunar Whale, where her memories went fuzzy and indistinct before she awoke in the pit.

"If you truly needed me, as you say you do, then why didn't you speak out when Cecil tried to throw me off the ship? You spoke not a word in my defense, not a single word. You implicitly supported his decision to have Rydia and I stay behind, like dutiful soldier's wives so that you brave men could rush to your deaths like the idiots you are!"

In her anger, she had forgotten that Kain had been pulled prior to that point in time, but even so, it still hurt to think that he would actually agree with Cecil on something so inherently stupid.

[dragonspride]

He did look up, with another faint flinch and a completely blank expression of shock; he had no memory of it -

Ship.

Something that happened after when the Fog God had taken him.

There wasn't anything he could say; he didn't even know what was going on, the entire idea sounded asinine, he wasn't sure where that would even come from or why he would've stayed quiet, but without it having happened yet for him, there was nothing he could say as to why or what was going on; he didn't want to think he would've agreed to something like that, even as broken as he must've been coming out of the Giant, but he wasn't sure how much faith he had in himself for that.

He shook his head, gave a weak, lost shrug and some thing that was almost an "I don't-"; then he gave up, burying his face in his hands.

[blessedbymoonlight]

That defeated look, that utterly hopeless defeated look is what finally broke her and cooled her anger completely. Rosa stared down at him, stricken. She hadn't... meant to reduce him to this state. To see him avert his eyes from her in shame dredged up uncomfortable memories of those moments when the spell controlling his thoughts had broke, and he refused to look her way. Refused to allow himself to acknowledge her, for fear of hurting her in someway.

She drew a deep, shuddering breath. No, this wouldn't do. This wouldn't do, at all.

Slowly, Rosa drew herself up from her chair and walked carefully to Kain's side. She laid her hand atop his head, fingers burying themselves in his silken hair. "Don't..." Her breath hitched, and she started again. "Don't look away from me. Please."

[dragonspride]

He flinched at the touch, briefly - but she was upset, and pulling away would make it worse, even if he couldn't bring himself to look up.

Her getting out before the Archfiends could've caught her alone and off-guard, even if he hadn't realized that was how dire the situation was, had been the one thing he'd thought he'd done right that entire time that hadn't involved just following behind being backup; he didn't know what had happened that he hadn't argued with sending them away, but he apparently hadn't.

The most response he managed was barely a mumble through his hands. "I deserve worse from you."

[blessedbymoonlight]

"Kain, I—"

This was why she had always tried to curb her anger, to hide her frustrations behind a smile, no matter how much Cecil or Kain might test her patience. If she let the reins on those emotions slip... then this was the result. Lashing out at those who least deserved it.

And it was in moments like these that she hated herself for being a Dragoon's daughter. Because surely that rage must be born from the dragon's ferocity. And she had never been taught how to tame that part of herself because she had chosen the path of the healer, instead of the dragon. Her only recourse was to lock that part of herself away, never acknowledging its existence...

"No," she said softly, her fingers combing through in his hair. "You deserve better. I was needlessly cruel, and for that, I apologize."

Rosa sank to her knees, her fingers brushing against his hands, seeking to push them down. "Please, look at me, Kain."

[dragonspride]

He only had so much energy right now for keeping covered, and after a moment of tension, he let her pull his hands away and looked up. It may not've been that comforting; he had his own bleeding weight that wasn't her doing that he'd kept better hidden - weeks on weeks of fighting to keep some corner of his mind that wasn't overtaken with every foul thing that'd ever crossed his mind, the guilt of everything he'd done while under that control - innocent deaths, Rosa, Cecil, everyone; the amount he'd had to throw himself into for distractions in the last ten months had made it easier to bury the parts that were broken down tired, even if he had pulled some threads back together.

"After everything I did..." Which apparently was under control or not. "I thought." He closed his eyes, almost swallowing the words. "...That you getting away from them there - had been the one thing I'd managed to do right."

He had wanted to protect her; it was a trap he'd known beforehand that even he wouldn't have gotten out of when it closed.

[blessedbymoonlight]

That was... "You did. You did do the right thing." She smiled, more for his own reassurance, than to cover over the unsettled feelings she was trying to bury once more. "You saved me from the Archfiend and granted me the chance to aid Cecil in his hour of need. And for that, you have my deepest gratitude."

She held his hands in her own, heedless of his talons. The fact that he could tear the flesh from her bones with a single well-placed strike never once crossed her mind.

"My last memory, before I was brought to the place, was of Cecil..." she paused. "...telling me to stay out of the final battle. It's been like a thorn in my mind, digging deeper and deeper, and when you didn't gainsay him, I thought that maybe, all this time, you—" She shook her head. "What I mean to say is that I shouldn't have doubted your intentions from before."

She stared down at their linked hands, her thumb tracing a circle against the back of his palm. It was shameful, really, how cruel she had allowed herself to become, all because she couldn't keep her anger reigned in. "You have my deepest apologies."

[dragonspride]

He shook his head quietly; it was an odd little war, between how angry she'd been and the litany of everything he had screwed up, and some kind of odd desperate warm puff from the first praise that somehow weighted as if it had to be the part that was true, why would it be anything else?

It was a strange sort of precarious, relieving balance and Kain wasn't sure if it was even how things were supposed to work.

"...How long was it - after the Giant?" He almost wanted to lean into the contact, bedraggled state and some nag of self-consciousness keeping him from it.

[blessedbymoonlight]

"Not long. After the Giant was defeated and Golbez..." she paused. Should she really get into all of this right now? Maybe the abridged version, for the moment. "Golbez was also being controlled, just like you. By a Lunarian named Zemus. He's the source of all the chaos in our world. We were about to embark for the Moon when Cecil—" She closed her eyes and sighed heavily. "I know he means well, but just because the stakes are higher doesn't give him the right to tell me to stay behind."

Not only that, but his brother... his brother was choosing his own death. To die fighting the enemy of their world in a bid for redemption. And there was a small part of her that wondered, had events gone differently, if Kain would choose that path for himself. He willingly admitted that if he stood in their way that they should cut him down, and yet... he didn't seem to be actively seeking death the way Golbez was.

In any case, she doesn't want to dwell on such thoughts. And she squeezes Kain's hands, if only to remind herself that he won't choose that path. "Cecil was convinced that none of us would survive this battle. That's why he wanted Rydia and I to stay behind."